Hurt

I was hurt, and the pain was unbearable. He had hurt me, I cried, I cried for help, no one came, no one was there. I laid there thought about it I knew I was alone. NO one came, NO one cared; but I got over it, I'm ok....right? or is that pain?

We as adults follow the same process, but only each stage is longer and we add additional steps. We get hurt by something (childhood memories, adult pain). We cry, get angry until the pain is unbearable, then we lay there think about what happened, how much we hurt, and we get angry again!

There's a secret hiding place that lies deep inside of us. No one knows how we get there, but once were there it takes a while to get out.



I sat down today

I sat down today not knowing what to do
where were my shoes, I had no clue

I sat down today, not knowing what to feel
was I hurt, is this pain, was this real......

I sat down today feeling kind of sad
never really wanted it to be this bad

I said good-bye to today
feeling real down

I was hurt, I was in pain, I was a shame of the fear.
I had been pushed, I had been pulled, I had been thrown around
I had lost my royal crown.

I sat down today feeling kind....what's that shame....pain, hurt, real

oh I know....I know what it is....

I felt it today....

Finally.......that moment is here!

Doubt

I do not trust you because I doubt you know best, have my best interest at heart, or know what you are doing. I fear what I don't know, so I doubt you again. The pain in my heart is too strong so I, now have a hard time believing you, I doubt you love me.........

and the list goes on.

Doubt is formed from fear, and fear is formed from distrust. Distrust becomes the distant cousin on the opposite side of honesty, faith, and love.

"I thought God left me, I didn't believe he loved me anymore. How could he had let this happen to me? He told me that if I put my trust in him, he would keep me, but instead he let him hurt me! NOW I hate life, I HATE me, I HATE the pain that's in my heart, the way I feel, the sadness, the darkness, I doubt I will ever get out of here."
insert from the book

Fairytales

He said it was going to last forever,
forever and a day,
that's what he said.
If I only had listen to him I would be happy today.
Only if I hadn't cried I would be saved.
Only if I had payed more attention to the outside world
only then, wouldn't I have still laid?

I regret the feelings inside
I regret the times I side
I regret the ignorance that I had inside the pain it lead if I hadn't died.....

But now I know what I know too late....

He said it was going to last forever,
forever and a day-that's what he said!

but it was nothing but a fairytale
nothing but a dream

until tomorrow until we meet again
until;

it will still be nothing but a fairytale!

by Nikki T.